Teenagers' Behaviour

Teenage may be associated with the term ‘adolescence’ which is a stage in which there is continuous psychological and physical development in a human that generally occurs when he enters from puberty to adulthood.

Teenage is perhaps the most important stage in a person’s life. It is the time when parents start noticing changes in their child’s behaviour as well as his physical self. It may be characterized by growth spurt, voice change, facial hair, frequent mood swings, rebellious behaviour, demand for freedom and allowance etc. 

As a parent, now is the time to be closer to their children more than ever. The first step should be to closely watch and understand their child’s behaviour and if a change from the usual is noticeable, they should immediately approach him/her. Here are a few tips that might lead you to a path of successful parenting.

ENCOURAGING GOOD BEHAVIOUR

• Engage in a conversation with your child as often as possible. Take time to actively listen to their worries and troubles.
• Try to be someone that your child may look up to and admire. This is the best way to teach and instil good manners and positivity.
• Understand that your child is now mature enough to handle some responsibilities. Handling responsibilities is one the biggest challenges of teenagers and an important stepping stone towards becoming an adult.
• Praising your child’s success is one of the most important things that a parent can do. It not only boosts their self-confidence but also makes them feel wanted.
• Sharing your personal feelings and experiences as a teen might be the best way to establish a connection and it makes future conversations way easier.
• Teenagers demand for a bit of freedom and privacy. A parent should respect the personal space of their child and little actions such as seeking permission before entering their room can prove to be very effective.

SIBLING TENSION

It's natural for fight to break out between siblings at this age. Children slowly start to understand how the world operates and how real pressure of studies and expectations feel. It's a stressful phase.

Frequent mood swings and low tolerance are common among teens. Even the slightest bit of hate is enough to make them burst out in anger and create commotion. Even a petty issue such as the control of the television remote can initiate fights. The blame game is not uncommon between siblings as a result fights break out and it's nothing out of the ordinary. 

This is where the role of parents come in. It is the perfect time to preach how important family is. Teens must be taught to be on good terms with every family member as they will be the only ones to be truly happy on their success and step up whenever they require any kind of help. Family values and respecting others ought to be cultivated at this age. 

As a parent, you must,

• Encourage siblings to resolve fights themselves. This will make them learn essential life skills. Although stepping in would be a faster way but it must be avoided. Only step in if a sibling gets verbally or physically violent.
• Understand each of their perspectives and carefully listen to them. Knowing what each of them wants will enable you to explain them where they went wrong.
• Help the siblings calm down. Fights bring out strong emotions and may lead to some kind of emotional trauma. Making them calm is not easy during a fight but for them to come to a mutual understanding, it's important.

Fights can be avoided to a great extent if the parents treat their children equally and stop comparing them with each other. Distributing equal amount of household chores between them is a great way to start. Staying connected with children and promoting positivity and sharing, inculcating family values and relaying the importance of optimism will definitely help.

PEER PRESSURE AND FRIENDS

Monkey see, monkey do. So, it's very important to have good friends to stand by your side as they are more influencial than our own parents. Teens like to rebel. They will never miss an opportunity to act like an adult. Peer pressure can be the worst nightmare of a teenager's parent. They know that they have done their best to never indulge in harmful activities like smoking, alcohol, drugs etc. Teenagers are most likely to try atleast one because of the ever growing curiosity. Peer pressure an cause teenagers to even steal money from their parents' wallet or credit card to flaunt their rich lifestyle or acquiring the same product as their friends upon their parents' disapproval.

To make your child ready for this inevitable circumstance, you must

• Build teenage confidence. Encourage them to try new things and upon success always praise them. Confidence will compel them to keep themselves way from people and situations that are not right. It will provide strength to resist negative peer influence.
• Make them accept themselves as they are. Make them believe that you care about them and never take a decision unfavorable for them. Self compassion comes in handy when dealing with stress and peer pressure.
• Teach them to say 'no'. It takes courage to say no to friends at this age but confidence is key. There will be situations when your child does not want to embarrass himself in front of his friends. But you can always teach some methods to politely decline an invitation. Such as 'No thanks, I have got to be somewhere right now'.
• Encourage your child to invite friends over. This will make you learn more about your child's friends and check whether is there a peer influence or not. This can be achieved by good communication and positive relationship. Try to keep your child's friends' phone number as it will be very useful.

BULLYING

This, perhaps could be the worst trauma a teen can suffer. It can be referred to as usage of force, harmful intentions, intimidation on a physically or emotionally weaker person or someone of lower grade. Cyberbullying is where the threats are given over the internet.

Some of the signs of bullying may include that your child,

• Refuses to go to school or college
• Comes homes with damaged or missing belongings
• Isolates themselves
• Looks gloomy or nervous all the time
• Has bruises on their body
• Has difficulty in sleeping

Parental role is extremely important here. You must actively listen to your child and show interest in all what's happened. Comfort him by reassuring that you are always with him. Tell him that what happened was not right and that they deserve to be treated with respect. Praise them for opening to you and sharing their feelings. The next step is to contact the school or college authorities and relay all the information and leave everything to them.

The reverse is possible too, maybe your child is the bully. In such a case you must get to know more about their daily life, such as what they are doing in school, who are his friends, how often he gets involved in conflicts and his behaviour at home. It is possible that by bullying others, they are venting out their stress and anger. In this circumstance, you must contact the school and co-operate with them until your child leaves bullying others.

Cyberbullying include,

• Spreading rumours online about people
• Excluding someone from a social group or games
• Stalking people online
• Creating fake accounts with real details of people
• Disclosing people's personal information without their permission
• Harrasing people online

Cyberbullying can lead to mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, stress, low self-esteem and suicidal thoughts. To prevent this, you must beforehand let your child know about it and how dangerous it can be. Accepting requests from known people, not giving passwords, thinking before uploading or posting a photo or video are some of the precautions which you can teach your child.

Symptoms of cyberbullying include,

• Low academic achievement
• Unusually longer use time of phone or PC
• Frustration and anger issues
• Homesickness and stays isolated

If any of these symptoms are noticed, you must immediately approach your child and ask all the details, boost his confidence, let them know that you are there, avoid banning him from technology. These will help with their mood. As a parent you must instantly block the bully and note all the details and the messages as evidence, report to the required authorities, seek help from professional help from organizations.

Parenting a teen is not the easiest thing in the world. Being careful and considerate every step of the way is essential. Adolescence shapes the future of your child. The values and virtues they learn Today, will last with them their entire life. Trying to become your child's friend is much more effective than approaching them as a parent.