Parenting styles

Some parents expect their children to do exactly what they say, no questions asked. Others micromanage every aspect of their child’s life to keep them safe and thriving. And still others take a relaxed approach, letting their offspring make their own decisions about almost everything.

If more than one of these approaches resonates with you, but none of them suit you perfectly, that’s okay. Although psychologists and parenting experts often try to put parents into neat categories, “I think very few of us fit into rigid boxes and people can switch back and forth between styles,” says Jephtha Tausig, PhD, an in New York-based Clinical Psychologist and Clinical Supervisor at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai Medical Center. You may find that you change depending on your child’s age, your child’s temperament, or even the time of day.

When you wake up and you’re full of mental energy, you might be practicing authoritative parenting, which means there are clear rules and consequences, but when rules are broken, we can sit down and talk about it,” says Jenny Yip, PsyD, clinical assistant professor of Psychiatry at USC Keck School of Medicine and founder of the Little Thinkers Center in Los Angeles. “However, as the day dwindles and your energy dwindles, you may feel overwhelmed and tell your kids, ‘Do whatever you want!’

This is permissive parenting. Or you’re so upset because a child breaks a rule for the tenth time that you act like an authoritarian parent and take all their toys away. At some point, you might just want to have a glass of wine and hide in the closet, which would mean acting like an uninvolved parent.”

Psychologists tend to focus on the four main parenting styles:

• Authoritarian

• Authoritative

• Allowed

• Unconcerned/careles

These categories originated in the work of developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind, PhD, in the 1960s, but are still used by most psychologists today. In recent years, however, parenting experts have coined a number of unofficial (and much-discussed) styles, including helicopter, field, and attachment parenting. Here’s what you should know about the pros and cons of these different methods.