One of the most concerning feelings that a going to be parent can have is knowing that there is a chance of premature birth. There is the happiness of having a child along with a constant concern about the child’s physical health and safety. One of the ways that you can calm yourself is approaching doctors who have dealt with premature births or parents who faced the issue at their time and seek valuable advice. Another way to calm yourself can be through yoga and exercises. Breathing exercises and deep breathing can help to make yourself at ease and divert your mind from the inevitable.

GETTING MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY READY FOR PREMATURE BIRTH

If you know you might have a premature birth and a baby who’ll need to stay in hospital, you and your partner might feel a range of emotions. For example, you might feel joy, love, helplessness, sadness, guilt, fear, worry or grief that your baby’s birth won’t be what you expected.

It’s also good to talk to your doctor or midwife and ask questions about premature labour and birth. Speaking to other parents who’ve had a premature baby will probably help too. You might already have a birth plan. For example, you might have planned to give birth at home or at a birthing centre. But this might need to change if it looks like you’ll have a premature birth.

No one knows exactly what will happen until the time comes, but it’ll help if you’ve thought about the kind of birth you want and whether it’s still the best option for you and your baby.

Even if your baby has already arrived when the hospital holds its antenatal classes, it’s a good idea to go along with anything that might be relevant to you. They are not just about birth but also they teach to look after the newborns. 

STAYING CALM BEFORE PREMATURE BIRTH

You might feel confused or overwhelmed in the lead-up to the birth. Here are some strategies that can help you manage these strong emotions and stay calm:

• Do breathing exercises, muscle relaxation exercises or mindfulness exercises.
• Do activities and hobbies that relax you. For example, listen to relaxing music, go for a walk, paint, read, game or take a warm bath.
• Take things one step at a time. For example, focus on what you need to do today, and try not to worry about what might happen tomorrow. Worrying will only increase your tension and will cause panic is the near future.
• Focus on positive thoughts – for example, try thinking about your baby in a calm, loving and positive way. The idea of a baby will fill you up with strength and positivity.
• Ask for help if you need it. You can talk to your partner, a family member or a trusted friend. You can also talk to your doctor or midwife.

PREPARING SIBLINGS FOR A PREMATURE BIRTH AND BABY

It’s a good idea to talk with your older children before you go to hospital. Talking with your children about what’s happening can help them to feel less anxious and confused about the change in plans. They might worry that they caused the baby to come early, or that they’ll catch the baby’s illness. You can let them know that they didn’t do anything and they can’t catch the baby’s illness.

Give your children a rough idea of how long you and their brother or sister will be in hospital – for example, how many days, weeks or sleeps. You could make a calendar that your older children can draw on. It can show when they visited, and they can also use it to cross off the days until their brother or sister comes home.

It’s a good idea to explain that you and your partner might be spending a lot of time visiting the hospital. It can also help children to know who’ll be looking after them while you’re in hospital.

You could talk to children about visiting the baby. If you show children pictures of premature babies, they’ll be better prepared for what the baby will look like when they visit. They could do a drawing to give to the baby, so they feel closer to their new sibling.

It’s a common behaviour among older siblings to feel a sense of responsibility when they find that there’s a baby on the way and soon they will be a big brother or sister. This provides them enough motivation to understand the situation as good as they can and even help in household chores. They take pride in living up to the name of ‘big’ brother or sister.