What Is Discontent and How to Teach Your Child to Show It

Discontent is the lack of satisfaction with one’s possessions, status or situation. It is a lack of contentment, a sense of grievance.

According to Vocabulary.com, when you are dissatisfied or unhappy about something, you experience discontentment. It is the longing for something better than the present situation.

According to Dictionary.com, discontent is a restless desire or craving for something one does not have – a malcontent.

Everyone experiences strong emotions and wants to let other people know of their discontent or that they are unhappy. Children are no exception as they want to express their feelings too. However, they may not have access to the right words to express their unhappiness and are likely to get overwhelmed and throw a tantrum instead. Well, this situation can be easily avoided with a simple strategy. 

Here’s what you need to know as a parent:

• How to teach children to express their discontent or unhappiness.
• How to deal with children who struggle to express their discontent or frustration.

How to Teach Children to Express Their Discontent or Unhappiness

Children often resort to throwing a tantrum or any other form of misbehaviour when they cannot find the correct words to express what they feel. Parents can teach their children that there is an effective way of expressing discontent or unhappiness.

Some books such as A Volcano in My Tummy and Helping Children to Handle Anger, provide a framework that helps children express themselves. It is basic and can be used by elementary school children in various situations. 

Certain written and verbal exercises can be a great medium to test their inner emotions and provide a medium for them to express it. Such as asking question, ‘How are you feeling right now?’ or ‘Is there something troubling you?’

Also Read: Baby Development And Developmental Milestones

If your child responds with a negative answer, you would understand that something is wrong and try to get to the bottom of the matter. If its jealousy or hatred for someone, its simply a matter of discontent with the current situation.

Children do have these tendencies and fairly common for parents to notice it. simple matters such as have a toy similar to his friend or not having something ‘cool’ that his friend possesses or classmate getting higher grades despite devoting less time to study.

Once you will sit down with your child and explain to them why they are feeling such emotions and it is natural for any person in the world to feel the same, it would be a great relief for them. Tell them that its not bad to think that way, just try to make these feeling motivate them to work harder in the future and get all the things they ever wanted in their life. The anger that develops within them is not to relieve on anyone. That anger would fuel their brain to work harder and be smarter than everyone around them.

How to Deal with Children Who Struggle to Express Their Discontent or Frustration

To reduce the chances of misbehaviour as a result of the child’s inability to communicate, parents need to be calm and consistent. The book, Positive Discipline A-Z: 1001 Solutions to Everyday Parenting Problems, lists a few strategies that can reduce the chances of future misbehaviour. 

• Little children who do not understand complete words yet, can be taught not to resort to hitting people when frustrated. You can say something like — “people are to be hugged, not hurt”. However, at this stage, do not expect them to fully understand what you are saying and supervise them closely. 
• Children who do understand words can be taught that feelings are different from actions and that unhappiness can be expressed in a healthy manner. “I am angry because…and I wish…” is a simple yet powerful framework that can be taught to children. 
• Children also need to be told that sometimes we need to step back and calm down when a frustrating situation arises. Once we feel better, we can resume the activity. Parents can also help their children create happy spaces at home to enter into a ‘positive time out.’ 
• Furthermore, parents can reflect upon their own behaviour to check if they have been unkind to their child unknowingly through acts such as excessive criticising or singling the child out when they were feeling discontent, unhappy, or frustrated. 

Children rarely misbehave with the intention to make your life difficult. They act out when they feel overwhelmed as a result of not being able to verbally express their feelings. Parents can teach children that it is normal to feel angry, sad, unhappy, or frustrated, and that there are constructive ways to deal with such feelings. 

Its difficult for children such strong emotions. Even if they build up the courage to talk about it, they don’t have the exact words to describe it. As a result, parents don’t pay much heed to these petty issues ad children are left to deal with it and eventually succumb to the feelings.

Sometimes, there is always a sense of danger that they would feel, if they upset their parents, they might not talk to them, isolate them in their room or even thrash them. So, children drop the very thought of telling their parents about it. This is due to fear of their parent’s behaviour towards them.

A parent should be capable of sensing that their child is being troubled by something. If their discontent is due to fancy material things, you can just talk to them about it. now, spoiling your child with over caring also comes to play. Do not fulfil their selfish wishes every time, otherwise they will take most things for granted or will have a sense of might. If the discontent is due to family problems and they want all to live together happily or some other viable reason, first of fall, they even noticed the problem is something great, secondly, you have to take care of the situation as well as make your child not worry about it anymore. It can be a big task but your child is growing more mature and that’s something to be very proud of.