Self-regulation is the ability to understand and control your behaviour and reactions to feelings and things happening around you.

It includes the ability:

• Regulate responses to strong emotions such as frustration, excitement, anger, and embarrassment
• Calm down after something exciting.
• Focus on one task
• Draw attention to a new task
• Control pulses
• Behave in ways that help you get along with other people.

Why self-regulation is important

As your child grows, self-regulation will help them:

• Learning at school – because self-regulation gives your child the opportunity to sit and listen in the classroom
• Behave in a socially acceptable manner – because self-regulation gives your child the ability to control impulses
• Make friends – because self-regulation gives your child the opportunity to take turns in games and conversations, share toys and express emotions appropriately
• Become more independent – ​​because self-regulation gives your child the opportunity to make appropriate behavioural decisions and learn how to behave in new situations with less guidance from you.

How and when self-regulation evolves

Children develop self-regulation through warm and responsive relationships. They also develop it by observing the adults around them.

Self-regulation begins when children are babies. It develops most strongly in infancy and preschool age, but also continues to develop into adulthood.

For example, babies might suck their fingers or look away from their caregivers when they need a break from attention or when they get tired.

1. Small children can wait a moment for food and toys. But toddlers could still steal toys from other kids if they really want to. And tantrums occur when toddlers are overwhelmed by strong emotions.
2. Preschoolers begin to know how to play with other children and understand what is expected of them. For example, a preschooler might try speaking in a low voice when you’re at the movies.
3. School-age children become better at controlling their own wants and needs, imagining other people’s perspectives, and seeing both sides of a situation. This means, for example, that they may be able to disagree with other children without arguing.
4. Preteens and teenagers are better at planning, sticking to difficult tasks, behaving in a socially appropriate manner, and considering how their behaviour is affecting other people. For example, your teenage child might think about your perspective when negotiating his curfew with you.

Issues with self-control

Various factors may occasionally have an impact on your child’s capacity for self-regulation.

For instance, your child’s capacity to control their reactions and behaviour might be impacted by fatigue, illness, and changes in routine. Additionally, some kids manage their behaviour well in daycare, school, or sports but struggle to do so at home. Other kids experience difficulty in crowded, boisterous environments like shopping malls. Additionally, as kids get older and have more evaluation duties or relationship issues, self-regulation may become difficult.

Despite the fact that these self-control issues are rather common, it is advisable to consult with a professional if you are concerned about your child’s behaviour or are experiencing issues with your child’s behaviour as they become older.

If your child is experiencing any of the following traits see a doctor:

When a child exhibits challenging or out-of-control behaviour, it can be dangerous for them or others. When a child exhibits these behaviours, it can be difficult to discipline them and your methods for promoting positive behaviour don’t seem to be working. When a child exhibits these behaviours, they may also be very withdrawn and have difficulty interacting with others, and it may also indicate that they lack certain communication and social skills.